Earth Day and a Tribute to My Father

My sweet dad died on Earth Day 12 years ago. The day he died, the Universe asked me to face one of my greatest fears in life. Losing a beloved parent is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. My dad's death was not peaceful. As if losing him was not already traumatic enough, I learned that our bodies are wired to live and I was not expecting the heart wrenching pain of witnessing his body fighting against the relinquishment of his spirit. When he finally took his last breath, a piece of my own soul died with him.

My dad loved to laugh and was this big bright light in my life. He was fun, silly, cheerful, optimistic, humble, selfless, intelligent, creative... and one of my greatest cheerleaders. He had the cutest accent having been born and raised in Brazil, where he was a concert violinist. He had the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known--and what I remember most about my dad was that love was always the answer for him--with everything and everyone.

Even our worst punishment as kids was shrouded in love. When my brothers and I would fight he would make us hold hands and walk around the house saying nice things to each other. It was the WORST!!! We would hear him call from the other room "I'm not hearing anything!!!" By the end, I gotta say, as difficult as it was to muster any nice thing at all, we did end up just laughing and gave each other a hug and moved on.

I'll be honest, there were times when, I'm ashamed to admit this, when his unconditional love for others got a bit annoying. He was able to see the good in EVERYONE--even those who had hurt or wronged him. It was definitely one of his superpowers. But, one that, like I said, would sometimes irritate me. If there was someone in my life who had hurt me deeply or who had had definite malicious intent there was always a conversation with him in which he would try and open my eyes to his or her intrinsic goodness. Sometimes it felt like he was invalidating my pain in a somewhat naïve way of looking at things. But I loved him to pieces and trusted that he would always be there for me, on my side, rooting for me, helping me see my own goodness--even in my own weakness and imperfection.

As I've grown, I've learned that, what felt like naivete to a young girl, was simply a wise, heart-centered man, who understood profoundly exactly who we are, in our divinity--even in our moments of weakness and separation from true self. Looking back, humbled, I realize that it's not that my dad didn't truly see what was going on around him (he, himself, had experienced heartache and profound pain at the hand of others in his life) but that he CHOSE to look deeply into other's souls--holding space for them without judgment, only pure love--and in doing so, all he was willing to take note of was their worthiness and goodness. He offered grace and chose love each and every time...

Out in nature one day, a few years ago, I felt a strong impression to ponder the fact that my dad died on Earth Day. I mean, I KNEW Earth Day was the anniversary of his death, but I had never really made a meaningful connection to the two. I always knew he was very connected to the Earth in life, but since his death, I feel he has been guiding me to my own profound connection to the natural world.

And I wondered why? Why is my connection to Mother Earth so important to my dad? Which led me to pondering more questions :) Why does being in nature and spending time with animals bring me so much peace and tranquility? Why do I feel re-centered in nature? What is it about nature--for all of us? Right? I think we can all agree that nature brings us peace. But why? The answer that fell into my heart was so simple, yet profound.... it was as if my dad himself whispered into my ear... "Because nature fulfills the measure of its creation... nature expresses itself in the truth of what it's made of which is simply pure love." And when we are in the presence of pure love, we can feel it.

What I'm understanding (and I want to clarify that I'm just sharing my personal opinion here--that's all) is that nature's vibration matches the energetic vibration of its creator which is pure love. For example, animals live in the present moment. Unless they have been abused by humanity or experienced some kind of trauma, animals tend to live in harmony and balance with themselves and the rest of creation. Animals don't question their worthiness. They don't have to wrestle with whether or not they belong. When we're in the presence of animals they're not judging OUR worth. They may be sizing us up to see if we're a danger to them, but there's no judgment. They simply radiate pure love because that is literally what they're made of.

Source energy is pure love, and I truly believe that all living things are simply different expressions of that source. The same with the trees, the flowers, all living things... They exist in alignment with love. And I think that whether being in the presence of a genuinely loving human being or out in nature where love is the energetic signature, we feel the love. We feel peace.

I feel like my dad's message to me is that as we connect more deeply into Mother Earth, we connect more deeply into ourselves. We are reminded of who we are and where we came from. We are literally children of Mother Earth and Source. It's like we're suspended here in connection to both of them. And love ties us all together. We belong to each other.

It seems personally apropos that my dad's legacy is one of love, and that, in his death, he wanted me to remember the Earth as an example of finding my way back to love--back to myself. Thank you, Dad. I love you. Happy Earth Day, in Heaven. :)